lost smiles: updates

Malacca...

a wedding...

and Terengganu...

christmas eve

it's only gonna get better

Shattered

I am tired
So tired
Just tired
Physically tired
Tired of how people judge and condemn me
Tired of worrying
Tired of people trying be friendly
Tired of getting trashed
Tired of how everything affects me
Tired of even trying
Tired of it all
Tired of L.I.F.E
Even how hard I try, nobody appreciates
Pointless

what stress has done to me

the past two weeks...

I've gained weight...all I do is sit and work and eat..

I'm losing hair....I think I'm balding...

Ugly and I mean U.G.L.Y RED spots popping out of my face...EVERYWHERE!

Losing my voice...

Lack of sleep....

Can't stop worrying about my work assignment...

ACHES..hand aches (typing too much numbers) body aches (sitting straight up) eye aches (non-stop looking at figures)

In conclusion, I've turned old, ugly and fat. I look like I've aged 10 times more.

off track

I think I've set the record for staying indoors for the longest period of time, having NO friends to hang around with, away from chinese food, surviving with bread and biscuits for dinner for 1 whole week, still counting, and indoors ain't making me a happy person at all because I bring WORK back home. I shan't complain that much as I'm provided with free breakfast and lunch everyday.

With the luxury of softy beds, someone to clean your room everytime you get back from work, helped. But nothing beats MY ROOM! Even with the mess, I lurve everything of it.

I would say this job engagment would be my very first, away from home, and worse of all, not knowing who would be with you on the job. If it didn't start right, God knows what will become of me. You wouldn't want to know. Yes, I am scary. To some. I dreaded coming in the first place. I shall not compare this with my outings and road trips with the company of beloved friends. It's all different. Yes, I like outdoor, I like adventure, but working on a given time frame outside your comfort zone is even more stressful. I complain, I talk to much, Bleh. That's me, like it or not.

I never thought it was easy. I wanted to try. So, don't judge me if I can't do it. Or if I can't take it. OR whether I can make it through. Call it directionless if you want. I'm still finding.

It sounds emo, but you can't blame a girl, on her 2nd week of work being sent up north. Not knowing procedures and systems and expect her to know it all. Yes, you can see that I'm all stressed up. Dateline's soon, manager's flying here soon, I'm not sure if everything's going to be smooth.

And now, I continue with the life of an auditor. back to W.O.R.K.

i miss home

I'm not sure again. I miss home and it's only my 4th day here. Life's been pretty mundane with the job of an auditor. I ask questions, investigate, probe, bug, and pester the accountant for EVERYTHING! I find myself quite irritating and I think the guy's getting a little stressed up. I pity him because he's such a nice guy and I feel guilty at having to make his life a bitter one.

This time round, it's a Japanese Company and it's pretty interesting how the Japanese work. And when they start speaking in english, you have to open your ears wider to grasp what they're getting at. :) But, very nice and polite people. A bow to greet everyday! So nice right?

I think I've been overly worried about work. I really thank God that He provided me with a very understanding senior, not expecting a lot, but yet, I have to finish certain part of audit by myself. And I wouldn't want to bother her much with questions because she's already stressed up with her own part. I need to self learn. :( something I'm not very efficient at.

I wonder if I would chose Singapore the next time round. I missed this opportunity, this time. Only if they called me one month earlier. Anyhow, I'll just stick to this path at the moment and see how things are...

It's been quite a long week and by the time I get home, it's dark. And working from the resort doesn't seem as bad as working in the office. I'm so in the mood for christmas...Decos up, lights up, and way to go, SHOPPING! I'll just have to find time. SHOPPING freak I am!

I don't get to see my penyu, so, I'm flying home soon to see my "man-dressed-penyu". *hint hint*

land of penyus

Blogging from TERENGGANU! Man...I'm sooooooooo tired. Flew all the way here for a job...and it's only my 3rd week at work. Anyhow, everything's pretty fine. I'll be back in 2 weeks time though..sob sob.. And I don't get to see penyus...:(

Yesterday...i was staying in this -10 star service apartment..and now.........after complaining to the client......I'm staying....HERE!!! Terengganu Equestrian Resort!! The only world class Oceanside Equestrian Park & Resort in Malaysia. So cool right? I've got wireless connection...I've got the beach beside us, I've got nice beds..I've got clean water...I've got toilet papers..I've got toilet bowls that functions....and at least its 100 times better that that dodgy service apartment...weird looking guys around..so dangerous lor. At least this resort, there's horse riding?? So romantic riding during sunset!!! Eeeeeee....Anyone interested? *grin*

Oh well..I hope I get to enjoy as much during my stay here. But somehow, work is still work. I miss KL lor..actually i miss my family and friends. It's only my 2nd day and I'm complaining so much. I'll update soon again I guess with my boring life here. Time to sleep...Yawns....

this life

Aren't exactly sure why I'm feeling this way

2 weeks isn't very long nor short

I'm not sure how I'm gonna survive alone there

Moving out of home, my comfort zone

Living in a land without my family and friends

2 weeks? I am sure gonna miss home

It is one of those days which you wish that you stay home

just stay, not move

am gonna miss YC

It is definately the season

Christmas..."Once upon a love story"

I miss those days of practice

"wella wella wella huh"? or was it bella bella bella huh?

the amount of time spent singing

looking at them dance from a distance

makes my heart wanna dance as well

the dedication and commitment

I love em' all

Not getting younger anymore

Life's catching up

Fond memories of good old times

Letting go, go wild, boundless energy

Lazy hazy crazy days

and now, more worries, disorganized thoughts

time to sit, plan and get things right

year's ending

a whole new year ahead

new discoveries for what lies ahead

to discover myself, discover life, discover the world

living up to reality

random emotional blunders

it's only human

Let's put our brain back in charge

and invest smartly, heart and mind

And let God deal with the rest.

i need a breather

BUSY BUSY BUSY!I'm exhausted! Lack of sleep these days....Anyhow, I'll be away outstation for a job engagement for 2 weeks! Gosh...that's very very long..I'm so gonna miss K.L. :( sobs...

Some lil updates, MISS JOY WONG! First week of work, and I got a bouquet of flowers!! Lilies, my favourite. :) Thanks to my beloved brother, he just made my saham higher. I got interrogated. Ahh... he just made it as the number 1 BEST BROTHER award. I love the flowers! But I love my brother more..muahahah...he's so gonna kill me for making this statement..hehe. I teared..I was touched! So girls, start pestering your brothers for somethng surprising on your first week at work!! It really made my day and week! Appreciated!

i like!!

hahaha poser again @ work

I'm too lazy to update about the short road trip..will do so when I get back from the land of the many penyu's. Anyhow, I won't be able to make it for chiller plant gig! I'm so sorry my dear friends. You know who you are. I'm missing good stuffs..PG165..I will catch you performing soon again! Another wedding, perhaps? *grin*

I kinda miss blogging days....I so need to find time now..time management i need!

road trip

yay! I'm off away from work, and busy busy KL. Off to road trip! Will update soon when I get back! I'm getting so hyper these days because Christmas is nearing! Just love it when it comes to the month of December.

Awaiting for the arrival of the maharaja and family!! Can't wait! Woohoo!!!!!!! I'm lovin' it!

gigs

Oh well I got this from mel's blog. Ahh....and so..it's another gig! Haven't been attending any for quite a very long time. I really do hope I can make it this time..it'll definately be a reunion again! Anyone interested in coming? Let me know!

Anyhow, work has been pretty relaxing..It had definately NOT begun. Peak season soon. I'm not sure where I'm heading as well. I really thank God that everywhere I go, I meet good company of friends and colleagues. I'm not sure how, but I'm certain it has been God's blessings towards me. How much I've disappointed Him and yet, He's still holding on to me, never to let me go.

it's a happy day!

And so, I had lunch with some of my ex-colleagues...So, one year ago, I had very long hair...

So, I was welcomed and felt sooooooo at home. I was no stranger any longer. I felt so loved and wanted, blessed with such good company of ex-colleagues, whom i might call my colleagues maybe, someday again. And goodness me, the whole department was aware of my arrival even before I stepped into the 6th floor again. News does travel fast. Thanks to a certain guy, he made a grand entrance for me..announcing to all the managers. It's quite embarrassing though. *hides face*

Been almost a year since i last stepped into the building. Fond memories. Some people left, some remained. Some, about to leave. I smuggled myself illegally into the department finding myself chatting away and catching up, with lost time. Lots of gossip. Politics. Changes. Ups. Downs. Being me, I had to add in spices to the gossips. Cheesy. I like!

Oh well..still awaiting for the final affirmation. I hope I get it though. Oh God, please bless me and help me. I'm not sure if I'm gonna survive in this line of job.

and now i look like this...poser pics

quite poser lor

poser poser poser..muahaha

la di dum

leaders retreat was great! despite having to wake up early in the mornings while some others sleep in, I had the privilege to cook! It was rather fun working together, chatting, preparations..I do miss all the fun. Rawang was the place! I felt so at home and..it's just so enjoyable that I wanna go back again for a holiday. I guess this would be the last best holiday before work. Officially employed, but I don't really feel the excitement at all. I wonder why.

Enjoy the pics! (Joy, this is for you, since you always ask for updates..HAHA..still, i love your pics)

longest eva receipt..2 troleys filed..and the list goes on and on and on...

i am definately "pokai" right now

food galore!

gotcha!

belle vs belle

lesbian-ism

yada yada..lovin it!

top pool view

brian : come, i jump in myself..you don't need to push me in

pretty much got dunked

so much fun!!

formations! we can join the olympics!

dead tired

Day 1
Ringgggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg...and so the alarm clock went off before 6am. Belle's still sleeping...what a hard nut to crack! I don't even think she heard the alarm...haha So, next my phone alarm went off..Sighs..I wish I needn't wake up so early..head off to Sime Darby Convention Centre for an event management job. And..all I wanted is to see some department leng chai partners! To my disappointment...well I met this japanese dude...

Highlight? I tripped and nearly fell...and I got whacked at the face by one of my crew. I stole a shoe bag by Microsoft..HAHAHA what's working as temps without bringing back some souvenirs? Thank you Christian...you stole one, I stole two! I was choosed to be his partner in registration..and it was fun but boring...checking out partners and managers!

DEAD TIRED..

Day 2
6am..my alarm went off again. I'm not working..but..I'm having an interview session this morning! Sighs...got up to read on some technical stuffs in case being asked. Headed down in the jammed packed train to sultan ismail..level 12.

me: Good morning. I'm here for an interview session.
Lady at reception: Please fill up this form. (Brings me to a room)

Two guys were already inside filling up some stuffs. One of the guys started greeting and telling me to fill up the form and write an essay...And so..this was one of the topic to choose from..
"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I. I took the one less traveled by and that has made all the difference" Comment on how it appears in your outlook of life or how it relates to our attitude..or sth like that...WAH SO HARD!

And there was role play. A case situation given to us..board meeting..I, the finance manager role. WHAT!! I don't even know how to count you ask me to be finance manager..then next was a role of an auditor...............I failed at this session, I tell you. All candidates were guys..except me..5 guys and a girl. Then came in 5 lady interviewers to judge on our board meeting. panic panic panic.

Next, HR Manager and the Audit Manager and me sat together for a chat. Basically, one to one session interview. It wasn't that scary here though..Oh well.it lasted altogether 3 hours....And i'm Dead Tired....The journey continues with a walk from the office to the lrt station and a walk back home. I dozed off in the train....and I'm gonna doze off now.....

And I'm still DEAD TIRED.

Can't you see what I'm trying to say..? I'm DEAD TIRED! It feels like I'm dead. buzz off!

and so..meals were mega at home

again...FOOD is good back home. Sweet sauced char kuew tiaw...and a teow chew dish "kuew chap"...pork pork pork!! ate pig ear..pig tongue..pig intestines..pic stomach..It is GOOOOODD!! *drooling* I bet everyone's drooling over all these food!! I had the best american beef burger..ever!!! Well, you can't get this in M'sia...ahhhhh....I'm lovin' it! Boy, it was delicious! Can't get enough?...head down to suntec city singapore..that's the nearest stop! Try out the portobello burger..some mushroom burger..RAWKS!

So, I'm back in KL...and I'm gonna starve, back to eating bread and peanut butter and maybe, McD's deliveries....

cravings

So...I received an email, advertising about starbucks' latest addition to their family. The ever tempting HOT CHOCOLATE! YUMMY! It really, really looks good in this picture. Since I'm the one having the sweet tooth, I shall go for the caramel hot chocolate! The only thing that's missing is, a rainy weather with a romantic atmosphere...a beautiful scenary...I wonder why Australia keeps popping in my head...! Ahhh....having to enjoy the postings of miss joy's momentos and wonkyness out of her blog makes me dream of visiting Australia again and again. Looks like a lot of fun there. And since, my good friend's flight itinerary heads to Adelaide..and then Dubai..then Zurich...I wonder when would be my next trip out of the country...besides singapore.

Hmm...talk about hot chocs, I'm craving for chocolates!!!! Just had durian chocs..you know..dark chocs stuffed with durian..and I believe Australia has all these chocolate factories where you can taste all you want! FREE chocs! The last time I was there, I couldn't help but went a few rounds. So what if people see, kiasu mar kiasu lor! I actually "stole" some and put it in my pocket. *grinz*

And while I'm back home, I finally got to taste the strawberry wine I bought from Philippines...erm..it's a long story. I broke the popular Baguio strawberry wine I bought and ended up purchasing the imported strawberry wine in Manila. Michelle can testify to this that both of us were literally running around the SM mega mall in search for strawberry wine...and being stopped by the traffic guard...cos' we committed an offence of jay walking..but he kindly pardon us. Thank God he didn't charge us of any offence...because we were rushing for time before we departed Manila...

I could go on and on about my overseas trips...but I'll leave that for the next round. How on earth did hot chocolate lead to jay walk...!! I'm bored...and that's why I'm blogging.